Flash back, it’s Christmas in the early 90’s and I am gifted my VERY OWN cd player. How cool is that? I’m also (conveniently) gifted a couple of cd’s. Selections included The Tractor’s “Baby likes to rock it” [like a boogie-woogie choo choo train…yeeeee hawwww!!!!!] OK, I was like, 12 – cut me some slack.
But the BEST cd I received was Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck”. One of my favorite bits was him talking about childbirth and how it’s so quick these days: “it takes longer than that to make chili in the crock pot!” And so the story of Grayson’s delivery begins…
We had to be at the hospital at 6:00 am, and it was snowing like crazy, so it’s a good thing we only live about 5 minutes away! We took the elevator up to the baby floor, and were escorted to our suite…#5. They didn’t waste any time, but 6:30 I was in my ‘hospital fancies’ and had my IV. At 6:50, Nurse Jenny (who was really awesome and funny) started the pitocin, just in time for the Anesthesiologist to come in and talk to me about my ‘consent’ for an epidural. I asked him if I could have it right then. He said no. Hey, you never know unless you ask...
After about 20 minutes I started having some mild contractions, but they really got strong when Jenny broke my water at 7:40. At that time, Brady poked his head out in the hall and said ‘DUKE?’ to some guy. Turns out, it was Duke, the new Anesthesiologist, and he was quite puzzled that Brady knew who he was. Of course, Brady didn’t, but we had a good laugh at Duke thinking he should know someone that he didn’t. Anyway, he was heading into a c-section, and said he would come back at 9:00 to give me the good stuff. Which was just about perfect timing because it got pretty intense after 8:00, so after an hour of good contractions, I was SOOOOO ready.
By 9:20 the epi was in, and I was texting Brady to let him know that all was clear, he could come back in. (they kick the guys out during the epidural process because some dude fainted and cracked his head a couple of years ago. He ended up in the ER with stitches). By this time, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and pretty strong, so I was glad to be comfortably numb! At 9:45 Jenny checked me, and I was 6 cm and 90% effaced, so I was progressing nicely. So nicely, that we decided to make it a goal to have this baby before lunch, since Jenny had to go home at 1:00 pm shift change. Plus, I was hungry and wanted to eat.
With me all settled, and (presumably) other laboring mothers to attend to, Brady & I were left to our own devices for a while. The conversation turned to labor and delivery horror stories, just in time for me to notice a change in my contractions. Grayson was digging himself out of there, and it felt like he was moving pretty quickly. Knowing that the nurses would shut my epi off (and fearing 24 hours of pushing or some other labor debacle) I waited a few heavy contractions before I finally told Brady that we needed to call Jenny, it was almost time. That was about 11:00. Jenny came in and checked me, I was 9 cm and almost ready. After a couple more contractions and a few ‘test pushes’, it was GO TIME at 11:34. I know this because I had typed the status into my Facebook page, so all Brady had to do was hit “share” when it was actually time. Yes, I know. We are the King and Queen of oversharing.
Back to the part where we made it a goal to have this baby before lunch….because I had an epi, I agreed to let Jenny pump up the pitocin to speed things along. It did just that. While I was pushing my contractions were a minute apart. The nurses gave me an oxygen mask in between pushes, so I barely had time to get the mask on for a few breaths before it was time to push again. Side note: I later learned that Grayson’s heartbeat was dropping whenever I pushed, which was the reason for the oxygen. I was so in the zone I didn’t know…nor did I pay much attention to my phone chirping facebook comments the entire time I was in labor). I knew my epidural had been turned off, so I had an hour or less to get this kid out before the real pain started. I was on a mission!!!
And that’s how it went for the next 25 minutes – push, mask, breathe, push, mask, breathe. It was about noon when Dr. Rowe came in and started prepping to catch the baby. I was so focused on getting this kid out of me that I wasn’t really paying much attention to whatever else was happening. He was crowning and all I wanted was him out of me, but there wasn’t enough room so I waited a couple contractions for Doc Rowe to give me a little snip snip so Grayson could slide on out at 12:19…less than 6 hours after the ‘start’ of my labor.
Brady got some awesome pictures of our new little man all fresh and soupy (which will not be shared) and I got to cut the cord before they placed our new little bundle in my arms! By 1:15 I was all showered up and changed and we were accepting visitors. Just in time for lunch.
So BAM, folks – there ya have it….CHILI IN A CROCK POT!!!!
