Just Be

According to psychologists, today is the most depressing day of the year. It’s January. It’s the 3^rd Monday of the month. All of the holiday bills are due, and its cold. Most New Year’s Resolutions have been broken, and Valentine’s plans are not yet in the making. BLAH.

Last year, I had a nice list of resolutions to accomplish, and although I did make progress, I am not nearly as close as I thought I would be a year later. This year, I have one resolution: just ‘BE’.

Be happy, sad, enlightened, motivated, scared. Be cautious, bold, jealous, thankful, optimistic and depressed. Be a great Mom, a lousy Mom, and a ‘let’s just get through the day’ Mom. Be the best friend my husband has ever had, a grumpy mess, and a quiet crusader of our marriage. Be unorganized, chaotic and frantic. Be calm, cool, collected and well prepared. Be noticed and forgotten. Be smart, stupid, stubborn and oblivious. Be wrong and right, and everywhere in the middle.

Be friendly, warm, inviting and open. Be introverted, closed and guarded. Be the person my children will look up to and admire, and be the person they will discuss in therapy sessions. Be lazy, be boring, be fabulous.

This year I am giving myself permission to be myself. Whatever the day brings. Be in the moment, feel the love, the pain, the disappointment, the joy – or mentally check-out and know that tomorrow will be another day.

Unapologetically, just ‘BE’. 

Grayson at age 2

Grayson, at age 2, you are my fireball. You want it your way, or not at all. You are stubborn, headstrong and at times downright ornery. You fear nothing, have your Daddy’s charismatic charm, and a gleam in your eye that lets me know you will always have a little mischief up your sleeve - no matter how old you are.

You are smart. Oh, you are smart. You’ve figured already figured out how to ‘train’ us to understand your language. And if for some reason we are unable to understand, you will SCREEEECH at the top of your lungs until we DO understand. Let me tell you, this is not my favorite habit of yours. In fact, it has driven us all insane. Grammy, a licensed child psychologist, suggested I purchase another pack & play as a ‘time out’ area for you, and to place you in there until you stopped screeching and learned that your behavior was unacceptable. Unfortunately, we all underestimated your tenacity.

I assembled the time out spot it in my office, and placed you in it during your next screeching fit. You HOWLED. I closed the door. Then I heard thumping. A really odd thumping, more thumping, and then crashes, items hitting the floor. I opened the door to discover that you had figured out how to ‘rock’ the pack & play and move it about the room. To teach me a lesson, you angrily wiped everything off of my desk. And that is the day I anchored the time out place to a filing cabinet. Yes. I literally had to take a tow strap and anchor your time out crib to my filing cabinet.

You are also a very independent child. You have no problem with independent play, and if given some balls, cars, or your precious little “BERD BERDS”, you will play for hours. You can also be very sweet, and your favorite place in the world is on the couch in Daddy’s lap. Or Mommy, if Dad isn’t available. You give the cutest little hugs, patting us on the back and reassuring us you do love us, even though you make our lives chaos on the daily.

Little Bit, we love you so much, our family wouldn’t be complete without you. We can’t wait to see what the next phase brings. 

23 Tips for Maintaining your Sanity While Living with Children

Ever have one of those days? I mean like one of THOSE days. You know, where you wish it wasn't against the law to duct tape your childrens' mouths shut and THEN duct tape them to the ceiling...in another house??

YES!!!!

Want some tips on surviving these days??

YES!!!!

Look no further - salvation has arrived, in the form of an awesome blog from Alphamom.com:

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.
2. Did that? Lower them even more.
3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.
4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible.  Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.
5. You can never have too many popsicles in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple popsicle?
6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently– probably on Satan’s website Pinterest– that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.
7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.
8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food.  In that case, you should get a dog.
9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee.  Invest in some Febreeze and count down the days until they move out and you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.
10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.
11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….
12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.
13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint.
14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.
15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.
16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.
17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.
18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.
19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.
20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.
21. Homework time is the worst time of the day.  Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.
22. Just say No to ironing.
23. Last, but not least, a glass of wine and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.


{Re-blogged from Alphamom.com - http://alphamom.com/parenting/toddler-parenting/23-exceedingly-helpful-tips-for-maintaining-your-sanity-while-living-with-children/}

Timelines.

This post may or may not make sense. I've been really bad about blogging, and I think it's because I have it in my head that I have to have a witty story line every time I write. Today I don't have anything witty to say. 

I'm sad. My heart hurts for all of the sons and daughters and moms and dads and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas out there experiencing the 11th anniversary of tragic loss. So many people will be looking at their watches and clocks today reliving the timeline. 

8:46 - the first plane hits. Families are destroyed in an instant. Lives gone. Sadly, nobody (except for the terrorists) has any clue of the horrors to come. 

9:03 - the second plane hits. Panic sets in. This is real. Time officially stops for anyone with relatives in the NYC area. 

9:37 - the Pentagon is hit. Military families around the world know what is happening. They've devoted their lives to defending this country, and now command central has been attacked. 

9:59 - the South Tower collapses. Phone lines jam - anyone that hasn't heard from their loved one fears the worst. 

10:07 - a plane crashes in Shanksville, PA, along with some brave men and women who did their best to avoid more loss of life. 

10:28 - the North Tower collapses. Chaos reins. 

To people that have experienced tragic loss, the timeline isn't so much about documenting the events of that day, but a series of 'what ifs' and 'where was I at this moment', or 'what would (loved one) have been doing at this time. It's a gut-wrenching annual ritual of time and space and remembrance. There is no way to make it stop - it plays in your head like a video. 

Tonight I will hug my boys a little tighter, and be thankful that I am here for them.