Childbirth and Chili in a Crock Pot

Flash back, it’s Christmas in the early 90’s and I am gifted my VERY OWN cd player. How cool is that? I’m also (conveniently) gifted a couple of cd’s. Selections included The Tractor’s “Baby likes to rock it” [like a boogie-woogie choo choo train…yeeeee hawwww!!!!!] OK, I was like, 12 – cut me some slack.

But the BEST cd I received was Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck”. One of my favorite bits was him talking about childbirth and how it’s so quick these days: “it takes longer than that to make chili in the crock pot!” And so the story of Grayson’s delivery begins…

We had to be at the hospital at 6:00 am, and it was snowing like crazy, so it’s a good thing we only live about 5 minutes away! We took the elevator up to the baby floor, and were escorted to our suite…#5. They didn’t waste any time, but 6:30 I was in my ‘hospital fancies’ and had my IV. At 6:50, Nurse Jenny (who was really awesome and funny) started the pitocin, just in time for the Anesthesiologist to come in and talk to me about my ‘consent’ for an epidural. I asked him if I could have it right then. He said no. Hey, you never know unless you ask...

After about 20 minutes I started having some mild contractions, but they really got strong when Jenny broke my water at 7:40. At that time, Brady poked his head out in the hall and said ‘DUKE?’ to some guy. Turns out, it was Duke, the new Anesthesiologist, and he was quite puzzled that Brady knew who he was. Of course, Brady didn’t, but we had a good laugh at Duke thinking he should know someone that he didn’t. Anyway, he was heading into a c-section, and said he would come back at 9:00 to give me the good stuff. Which was just about perfect timing because it got pretty intense after 8:00, so after an hour of good contractions, I was SOOOOO ready.

By 9:20 the epi was in, and I was texting Brady to let him know that all was clear, he could come back in. (they kick the guys out during the epidural process because some dude fainted and cracked his head a couple of years ago. He ended up in the ER with stitches). By this time, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and pretty strong, so I was glad to be comfortably numb! At 9:45 Jenny checked me, and I was 6 cm and 90% effaced, so I was progressing nicely. So nicely, that we decided to make it a goal to have this baby before lunch, since Jenny had to go home at 1:00 pm shift change. Plus, I was hungry and wanted to eat.

With me all settled, and (presumably) other laboring mothers to attend to, Brady & I were left to our own devices for a while. The conversation turned to labor and delivery horror stories, just in time for me to notice a change in my contractions. Grayson was digging himself out of there, and it felt like he was moving pretty quickly. Knowing that the nurses would shut my epi off (and fearing 24 hours of pushing or some other labor debacle) I waited a few heavy contractions before I finally told Brady that we needed to call Jenny, it was almost time. That was about 11:00. Jenny came in and checked me, I was 9 cm and almost ready. After a couple more contractions and a few ‘test pushes’, it was GO TIME at 11:34. I know this because I had typed the status into my Facebook page, so all Brady had to do was hit “share” when it was actually time. Yes, I know. We are the King and Queen of oversharing.

Back to the part where we made it a goal to have this baby before lunch….because I had an epi, I agreed to let Jenny pump up the pitocin to speed things along. It did just that. While I was pushing my contractions were a minute apart. The nurses gave me an oxygen mask in between pushes, so I barely had time to get the mask on for a few breaths before it was time to push again. Side note: I later learned that Grayson’s heartbeat was dropping whenever I pushed, which was the reason for the oxygen. I was so in the zone I didn’t know…nor did I pay much attention to my phone chirping facebook comments the entire time I was in labor). I knew my epidural had been turned off, so I had an hour or less to get this kid out before the real pain started. I was on a mission!!!

And that’s how it went for the next 25 minutes – push, mask, breathe, push, mask, breathe. It was about noon when Dr. Rowe came in and started prepping to catch the baby. I was so focused on getting this kid out of me that I wasn’t really paying much attention to whatever else was happening. He was crowning and all I wanted was him out of me, but there wasn’t enough room so I waited a couple contractions for Doc Rowe to give me a little snip snip so Grayson could slide on out at 12:19…less than 6 hours after the ‘start’ of my labor.

Brady got some awesome pictures of our new little man all fresh and soupy (which will not be shared) and I got to cut the cord before they placed our new little bundle in my arms! By 1:15 I was all showered up and changed and we were accepting visitors. Just in time for lunch.

So BAM, folks – there ya have it….CHILI IN A CROCK POT!!!!

Bittersweet

This is it, the final night of my pregnancy. It seems like it took FOREVER to get here. But now that the time is upon us, I’m feeling, well, a little wishy-washy.

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO READY to not be pregnant. I am not one of those ladies that pregnancy agrees with. In fact, I can’t fathom any reason why (other than procreation) anyone would want to be pregnant. Surrogate mothers? Holy crap, that would be my own personal hell. So let me see here – you want to implant your alien into my gut, let me flounder around with it for 9 months, and then you get to keep it? Ummmm….no. There isn’t enough money in the world.

Maybe it’s because I am completely ADD and can’t take my meds while there is a baby growing inside of me. Can you believe it? Certain members of the medical community frown upon taking amphetamines during pregnancy! Really? So I’m about 500 times more spaz than normal. Or maybe it’s because I’m 5’2” and try to keep my weight in the 120’s – but my husband is 6’2” and about 200 lbs. – and he’s now 5-0 with creating babies weighing in over eight and a half pounds. Or maybe it’s because I have NO TORSO WHATSOEVER. Seriously. There is like 2 inches between the top of my hip bone and the bottom of my rib cage. Where else is the baby supposed to go besides straight out front?

Whatever the reason – I am not one of those lovely, glowing ladies that look so happy and radiant and marvelous with the new life growing inside of them. I’m crabby, spastic, restless and slightly more neurotic than usual. I’m larger at 36 weeks than most women would be a 42 weeks, and haven’t slept more than 3 hours straight since August. I have consumed 3 large bottles of TUMS (the SAM’s Club size) and my poor husband (whom usually sleeps in shorts and a t-shirt) has been forced to sleep in a sweatshirt since I closed off the heat vent to our room and insist on sleeping with the ceiling fan on.

That being said, I’m also a little sad that this is the last night I will lay in bed and feel a new life rolling around inside my tummy. He likes to tickle the right side of my belly with his feet. He also gets the hiccups several times a day, and then gets mad at the hiccups and starts kicking and rolling around, almost as if trying to get rid of them. He likes to poke his elbows out at me, and when I poke him back, he pokes me more, and traces my hand with his elbow. I’m almost certain he recognizes Gavin’s voice. He talks to him daily, he’s the perfect height for the baby to hear, and he sometimes gets quiet when Gavin starts rambling on (this may come in handy later). I’m gonna miss Gavin hugging and talking to my belly, and the way his eyes light up when he talks about being a big brother.

I will miss the knowing glances and the excitement of ultrasounds and new baby clothes. Maybe I am romanticizing slightly, but since this is our last child, I am a little sad that I won’t ever have this feeling again.

Snap back to reality. I have to pee again. There is a humongous head squashing my bladder and colon, making every sneeze or cough VERY dangerous, and I am slightly regretting tonight’s gorge-fest at Olive Garden. Sigh, I guess I will go find my trusty bottle of TUMS and try to get a few hours of sleep tonight.

This time tomorrow, I should be the proud mommy of a new baby boy.

23 Weeks - and a future Soccer Player

This week Baby Bean reaches the 1 pound mark! He’s over 11 inches long now, and I can feel him dancing all the time. His favorite ‘dance floors’ are my bladder, and the nice fleshy parts just in front of my left hip. Brady & Gavin have also been able to feel him dancing, which has been pretty fun for me to share in the experience. Gavin also like to ‘hug’ the baby by wrapping his arms around my belly. It’s too cute and I know he is going to be a big helper!

In other baby news, we have finally started prepping for the baby’s arrival. I figure we have about 3 months left to go, and in that time frame, we have: a trip to Chicago, trip to Wisconsin, Halloween, Vegas, Thanksgiving, Alyssa & Evan’s birthdays, oh, and of course CHRISTMAS. Whew – I’m tired just thinking about it.

So Gavin and I went shopping on Tuesday and picked up some cute bedding, some accessories and paint. The colors are sage green, baby blue & chocolate brown, and of course I will post pictures when we are finished!

I also hauled out 4 years of baby stuff and washed it all. Wow, I didn’t realize how much stuff we had accumulated over the years! (as if the tower of boxes wasn’t my first clue) I emptied them into a pile on the basement floor, and we stared at “Mt. Baby”. 20+ loads of laundry later, it is all sorted by size, and will be placed into space bags today – and back into the closet – but at least I won’t have to sort or launder it when I need it!

I’m chomping at the bit to get back upstairs and paint…..but Gavin has taken a rare morning to sleep it, and I am weighing the pros and cons of an early start vs. as much quiet time as I can get this morning. I think I will let him sleep a little longer :)

21 Weeks already!

I'm feeling not-particularly inspired right now, so I thought I would steal a friend's idea about posting the weekly happenings inside my belly - from another site.

Ok, people - here's what Baby Bean is up to this week:

He now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. He is definitely practicing martial arts as his initial fluttering movements have turned into full-fledged kicks and nudges. In other developments, his eyebrows and lids are present now - yippee!!!

So far so good, I am feeling great. My belly isn't so big that it gets in the way of everything, but it's big enough now that I really do look preggers and not like I have the beer-gut from hell. Other than the occasional sleepless night (and the gross sweating thing), I have been blessed with a relatively easy second trimester so far!

So all we need now is a name, since that's the one thing we can't seem to agree on this time!