Grayson at age 2

Grayson, at age 2, you are my fireball. You want it your way, or not at all. You are stubborn, headstrong and at times downright ornery. You fear nothing, have your Daddy’s charismatic charm, and a gleam in your eye that lets me know you will always have a little mischief up your sleeve - no matter how old you are.

You are smart. Oh, you are smart. You’ve figured already figured out how to ‘train’ us to understand your language. And if for some reason we are unable to understand, you will SCREEEECH at the top of your lungs until we DO understand. Let me tell you, this is not my favorite habit of yours. In fact, it has driven us all insane. Grammy, a licensed child psychologist, suggested I purchase another pack & play as a ‘time out’ area for you, and to place you in there until you stopped screeching and learned that your behavior was unacceptable. Unfortunately, we all underestimated your tenacity.

I assembled the time out spot it in my office, and placed you in it during your next screeching fit. You HOWLED. I closed the door. Then I heard thumping. A really odd thumping, more thumping, and then crashes, items hitting the floor. I opened the door to discover that you had figured out how to ‘rock’ the pack & play and move it about the room. To teach me a lesson, you angrily wiped everything off of my desk. And that is the day I anchored the time out place to a filing cabinet. Yes. I literally had to take a tow strap and anchor your time out crib to my filing cabinet.

You are also a very independent child. You have no problem with independent play, and if given some balls, cars, or your precious little “BERD BERDS”, you will play for hours. You can also be very sweet, and your favorite place in the world is on the couch in Daddy’s lap. Or Mommy, if Dad isn’t available. You give the cutest little hugs, patting us on the back and reassuring us you do love us, even though you make our lives chaos on the daily.

Little Bit, we love you so much, our family wouldn’t be complete without you. We can’t wait to see what the next phase brings. 

23 Tips for Maintaining your Sanity While Living with Children

Ever have one of those days? I mean like one of THOSE days. You know, where you wish it wasn't against the law to duct tape your childrens' mouths shut and THEN duct tape them to the ceiling...in another house??

YES!!!!

Want some tips on surviving these days??

YES!!!!

Look no further - salvation has arrived, in the form of an awesome blog from Alphamom.com:

1. Lower your standards for cleanliness and order.
2. Did that? Lower them even more.
3. Your house will never look like a magazine spread, period. Embrace that.
4. No matter how many baskets you buy to contain toys, they will always be visible.  Embrace the Toys ‘R Us/ frat house-chic decor.
5. You can never have too many popsicles in the freezer. How many bad moods have been fixed by a simple popsicle?
6. If you can’t change them, change your perspective. For example I read recently– probably on Satan’s website Pinterest– that toothpaste is great for cleaning things like faucets. So now when I go into the bathroom every day and see toothpaste splatter all over the bathroom faucet I think about how my children have done half the chore of cleaning for me. How considerate of them! Then I wipe it off while cursing.
7. Those chores that no one ever wants to do. Decide if you would rather do it yourself, badger your child to it, or let it go. If you are confused about what to do, see Number 1 on this list.
8. No one cares what is stuffed under your child’s bed, why should you. Unless it is old food.  In that case, you should get a dog.
9. If you have boys, your bathroom will always faintly stink like pee.  Invest in some Febreeze and count down the days until they move out and you can go visit them and pee on their bathroom floor.
10. Don’t buy white furniture. Unless you enjoy screaming at your children every time they go near it.
11. However bad a situation might seem, one day it will be funny. I have a few for which I am eagerly awaiting for the funny to kick in. Any time now….
12. When your child is a young teen there will be nothing more embarrassing than your very existence. Use this to your advantage. Start planning early.
13. Do not paint any walls in your house with flat paint.
14. Be okay with letting your kids stumble sometimes. Whether that is turning in an assignment late because they didn’t do it or wearing an outfit so hideous you have trouble looking at them without laughing.
15. Noise cancelling headphones are great for blocking out whining, bickering and the endless episodes of Sponge Bob.
16. Socks do not have to match. Every day is Crazy Sock Day at my house, which is infinitely better than Crazy Mom Day.
17. The crayons will break and it is okay to throw them away rather then save them to make some sort of craft that involves the hair dryer. In fact, I give you permission to not feel guilty about all the crafts you know you will never do.
18. Your children will not die from eating the occasional hot dog or frozen pizza. And by occasional I mean more than you are really willing to admit.
19. If your children are driving you crazy arguing with each other, start an argument with them. Then your children will bond over their mutual hatred of you and be quiet.
20. Children do not appreciate top sheets or high thread counts. Buy neither.
21. Homework time is the worst time of the day.  Help your kids and yourself by having a designated time and a quiet place to do homework. Preferably in a neighbor’s home.
22. Just say No to ironing.
23. Last, but not least, a glass of wine and some really bad TV makes everything seem a little better.


{Re-blogged from Alphamom.com - http://alphamom.com/parenting/toddler-parenting/23-exceedingly-helpful-tips-for-maintaining-your-sanity-while-living-with-children/}

Timelines.

This post may or may not make sense. I've been really bad about blogging, and I think it's because I have it in my head that I have to have a witty story line every time I write. Today I don't have anything witty to say. 

I'm sad. My heart hurts for all of the sons and daughters and moms and dads and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas out there experiencing the 11th anniversary of tragic loss. So many people will be looking at their watches and clocks today reliving the timeline. 

8:46 - the first plane hits. Families are destroyed in an instant. Lives gone. Sadly, nobody (except for the terrorists) has any clue of the horrors to come. 

9:03 - the second plane hits. Panic sets in. This is real. Time officially stops for anyone with relatives in the NYC area. 

9:37 - the Pentagon is hit. Military families around the world know what is happening. They've devoted their lives to defending this country, and now command central has been attacked. 

9:59 - the South Tower collapses. Phone lines jam - anyone that hasn't heard from their loved one fears the worst. 

10:07 - a plane crashes in Shanksville, PA, along with some brave men and women who did their best to avoid more loss of life. 

10:28 - the North Tower collapses. Chaos reins. 

To people that have experienced tragic loss, the timeline isn't so much about documenting the events of that day, but a series of 'what ifs' and 'where was I at this moment', or 'what would (loved one) have been doing at this time. It's a gut-wrenching annual ritual of time and space and remembrance. There is no way to make it stop - it plays in your head like a video. 

Tonight I will hug my boys a little tighter, and be thankful that I am here for them.

My life as a stripper....

So my friend JBF texts me this afternoon regarding the 'Laverne and Shirley' predicament I've got myself into, offering to help if she could. She then ads: "This would be a perfect blog entry....I know you prolly aren't ready to laugh at it just yet though". WELL, maybe it's the fumes, the contact buzz, or maybe just the sheer hilarity of the crap that I seem to constantly get myself into, but here goes nothing.

It all started with Pinterest (EVIL EVIL Pinterest) where I come across this GREAT idea for a cool floor:

Beautiful, right? SO, I get started. Brady comes over to the studio to check on me and finds this:

Understandably, he FREAKS. I talk him off the ledge and reassure him that it will be EPIC and he has nothing to worry about! [keeping in mind that his BOSS is my landlord :)] As promised, after a ton of rubber cement and two coats of polyurethane, the floor was AMAZEBALLS!!!!!

Until the next morning when I arrived and all of this gross ugly yellow patches were 'growing' on my beautiful floor!!! GAH!!!!! So, in an attempt to salvage all of my hard work, I decide to just freakin' paint the stupid floor (sulking, after wasting all of my time). I was feeling alright about my decision when DISASTER STRIKES:

As I was moving my equipment back, a light stand SCRAPED MY FLOOR! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 So I now realize that a). this flooring is not meant for high-traffic areas, and b). this was a really stupid idea. So guess what I get to do now????

I get to strip off the polyurethane/paper layer, AND the gunky carpet adhesive underneath. So begins my new career as a stripper. Once, (before I had children and stretch marks) I attempted to give Brady a lap dance. Lets just say it was more awkward/funny than it was sexy, so I'm REALLY not looking forward to this new phase in my life. *Sigh* Thanks Jules, I am laughing at the absurdity of it all....

The Lucky One

Better late than never - let me tell you about my awesomesauce Mother's Day!

First, my boys prepared the most delicious breakfast ever! Veggie omelet, bacon and jelly english muffins - yummo!!!!

I was also given some really sweet cards, and a plaque that Gavin made at school:

But wait! There's more! These boys know I love flowers <3

They also pitched in and washed Bessie:

 And then we played with, er, ate some sidewalk chalk.

All in all, it was the best Mother's day EVER!!!! Thanks boys!!!

lurking in your bathroom...

It’s time to get real about toilet paper. And I don’t mean like those dumb commercials about ‘getting real’ in the bathroom and pudgy bears with specks of paper on their bottoms either. “OUR paper is soft without being TOO soft.” “Oh yeah? Well OUR paper does the job better, and won’t leave you feeling like you just dremmel-ed your arse!”

Seriously. Do people actually REALLY study these things? Can toilet paper actually be too soft?

Personally, these matters do not concern me. What concerns me is the volume of toilet paper that is consumed in this household. I simply cannot understand how our little family of 3 potty-users (2 of which are male) can go through a roll of toilet paper every 3 days. WHERE DOES IT GO???????

My first thought was that Grayson was eating it. Come on! The kid eats just about anything else. But, he’s not allowed unsupervised in the bathroom 1). Because he will likely eat the potty paper, and 2). He thinks the potty itself is a kiddie-pool.

I briefly toyed with the notion that maybe Max and Erma had learned how to use the toilet, but one look out the back door busted that myth.....

...which leads me to the OBVIOUS conclusion: Potty-paper Gnomes. A distant relative of the Under-pants Gnome, the Potty-Paper Gnome  thrives in the bathrooms of families with small children. This crafty little bugger feeds off the TP roll, causing unsuspecting mothers to question their sanity and monthly budget. There is no cure or ‘icide’ to rid your home of these parasites, however, I am told they will eventually move on once your children learn that they do not need to wipe themselves 24 times per visit.

BEWARE THE POTTY-PAPER GNOME!!!

A family of Ninjas

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Brady just forwarded me the FUNNIEST link, and it got me thinking about how you change when you become a mom. Not just the obvious bodily changes. I'm talking about the enhanced senses of the Ninja Mommy.

Pre-children, I could sleep though a hurricane. Thunderstorms, dogs barking, OTHER PEOPLE'S kids crying, you name it. Ahhhh, those were the days....Now, my sleep patterns are that of a goldfish. Eyes open, waiting on the slightest ripple in the water to send me fleeing from danger. If one of my boys so much as farts in his sleep, I hear it.

I admit it. I sometimes get irritated with Brady. "Didn't you hear the baby last night??????????????" Uggggh. Of course he didn't. Ninja Dads are trained to respond to the call of DANGER. Apparently gassy children don't fall into this category.

You can read the article HERE, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

That's NOT what I meant....

A friend text me this morning, and asked me what I was doing today. I answered: "eh, not much, just ripping and burning the Bible again". WHAT?????????????????????

Brady's Grandmother "Gigi" is 94. A huge accomplishment if you ask me! Anyway, she loves to read, but since she can't see all that well anymore, we had to find a different solution. Last year, we got her a cd player and some audio books. The good news is that the St. Clair County Library system has a whole bunch of audio books. The bad news? She is blowing through Danielle Steele novels like nobody's business.

Since my mother-in-law (Gigi's primary caretaker) is in Florida for the month, Brady has stepped up to help with doctors visits, simple shopping, library runs, etc. After the second library run in one week, Brady suggests to her that she get something that is slightly longer than your average smutty romance novel. So what does he have in mind? The Bible. Great idea. Gigi is interested, and admits that she has never read it, but (since she's 94 and all) it seems that now might be the time to start. Brady agrees to pick it up on his next trip.

Here's where this story gets interesting:

He brings 'the Bible' home and it's SIXTY FOUR AUDIO DISCS. It literally takes up an entire binder. Hmmmm...there's no way she is ever going to be able to get through this before the time to return it, so he has the most awesome idea - we will copy it for her! All 64 discs. Anyone that has ever copied a CD knows that they have to be 'ripped' onto the computer, and then 'burned' onto a blank CD. All 64 discs.

God has blessed my husband with his kind heart, loving personality and will to serve. He was also blessed with a wife that works from home on a computer that has a fast processor that can efficiently rip and burn discs. Yup, I was left holding the bag.

In summary: for the past couple of days I have been not only ripping, but burning the Bible. If the path to Hell is paved with good intentions, then I'm pretty sure that's where I will end up.

Angry

Reason, Season or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

You will know what to do for each person

But how do you replace the only person {prior to Brady and my boys} that was always there? The one that never turned his back on you, no matter what the circumstance?

You grieve. You grieve, and then you grieve some more. You get angry. Eventually it gets easier. You look back and smile way more than you cry. You move on. Most days. But there are days {like today} when it all comes flooding back. Grief is raw, red, angry and deep. You want to scream. You want to lash out. You want someone to blame.

But there is nobody. I can’t blame him, he didn’t wake up that morning intent on hurting so many. He didn’t plan on taking our marginally-functioning family and rendering it useless - destroyed completely beyond repair.

On March 26th, 2006 - I was robbed. I was robbed of the only semblance of family that I had. I am angry. I am bitter.

Today, the grief, the memories, the emotions will come in waves - just like they do on this day every year. Once again I relive the timeline. The timeline of events that changed me forever that day.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow will be a good day. A better day. But today, today I am angry. 

News Flash: I am a horrible blogger!!!!!

Wow, May? Seriously? What the heck have I been doing for the past 8 months since I last posted? Hmmmmm. I'm guessing it had something to do with raising 2 kids, running 2 businesses and typing on two separate computers at the same time. (That's why we were given two hands, right?)

Ok, enough complaining - we are all busy, I get it. Soooooo, in honor of the New Year, I am going to list out my resolutions....(if only to have them publicly posted so I might feel some shame and motivation to actually accomplish them).

1. Lose the baby weight. Yes, he's a year old. No, I still haven't lost it all. I'd really like to get rid of 20 - but right now I would settle for 15...just so I can have some different wardrobe options.

2. BLOG MORE!!! When I was younger, I kept a journal and wrote in it mostly every night. These journals have since disappeared (?) but it was neat to look back through them when I had them. I'd like the same for my children...even if the posts are embarrassing quips about them :)

3. Take more pictures. HA! Although I do take tons of pictures, they are mostly of OTHER PEOPLE and families, and not of my own. So this year I'm really going to try to take more candid pics of the fam...and even give Brady my cam and let him take some pics of me and the kids. Baby steps, baby steps...

4. Sleep more. (see first paragraph)

5. Stress less. (see first paragraph)

That's enough for now. I don't want to overwhelm myself with resolutions, because I tend to short-circuit and stress when I have too many obligations. And adding more self-imposed obligations would A. make me stress more, and B. cause me to sleep less - which would defeat the whole purpose of having these resolutions, right?